The best place for answers to substance abuse in your teen and to the alien they have become, can be found at ToughLove. This is a great program and the best community support you can participate in,  if there are groups in your community. I highly recommend them.

TOUGHLOVE International http://toughlove.com

Tough Love International: The TOUGHLOVE® Parenting Program is a loving solution that empowers families to overcome denial, take action, and take control.ToughLove is a great program for all parents with difficult children. If, however, your child is in deep trouble with alcohol and other drugs, you must seek the support of Families Anonymous. Consider joining their on-line support group as it is the very best!

Families Anonymous  http://www.FamiliesAnonymous.org

12-step fellowship for relatives and friends of persons with drug, alcohol or behavioral problems. Members learn to achieve their own serenity in spite of the turmoil which surrounds them. Besides  many booklets, pamphlets and bookmarks, publications include daily thought book, "Today a Better Way", and a bi-monthly newsletter, "The 12-Step Rag." If you would like to join the FA E meeting then send an email to tabw@insightbb.com and enter "subscribe" in the subject line. You will then get an email back that will ask you to confirm  the subscription, press your reply button and then your send button. They will send you a welcome letter.

You can also find other groups at the Self-help Resources Site. This guide has been developed to act as your starting point for exploring real-life support groups and networks that are available throughout the world and in your community. The American website provides a keyword-searchable database of over one thousand member-run "self-help" support groups for any specific illness, disability, addiction, bereavement situation, parenting, caregiver concern, abuse, or other stressful life situation. They list local non-profit self-help groups  worldwide and suggest ways to begin new groups. 

I don't want parents overreacting to normal teen behavior. Keep your kids safe with the facts, have strict rules about drinking and driving, keep informed and keep your eyes open. Book mark this page and review it once and awhile. 

It has recently been reported that youths do better in recovery groups that include peers, according to research presented at the recent Research Society on Alcoholism meeting in San Francisco.

In a study involving 74 male and female adolescents in 12-step programs, researchers John F. Kelly, Ph.D., of the VA Palo Alto Healthcare System and Mark Myers, Ph.D., and Sandra A. Brown, Ph.D., from the University of California at San Diego found that youths attending meetings with one or more people in their age group went to more meetings and were more likely to view the program as important to their recovery.<

"Adult composition and content of groups may be a barrier to more frequent youth attendance," the researchers concluded "Thus, sharing of experiences by older members may not be perceived by youth as helpful or relevant in dealing with their own life-stage recovery issues." 

The problem with this type of  finding is that people misinterpret what this means. People erroneously conclude that teens need all-peer or same age cohorts in order to recover. When you put teens into adolescent only treatment or recovery groups, they tend to get worse, not better. The BEST treatment and recovery options for young people is MULTIGENERATIONAL.  Groups and treatment centers that draw on the strengths, experience, and role modeling of adults, the nurturing and wisdom of elders, and the identification and energy of other young people give everyone the best opportunity for balanced recovery. 

If a young person doesn't want recovery, the first thing they mention is the generation gap. If they do want recovery, they make friends fast of all ages in the 12 Step rooms. In addition, today, especially in large cities, there are many  hundreds of young people in 12 Step recovery.

Although some suicidal threats are intended to manipulate others so the threat-makers can get their way, there is no foolproof way to tell the difference between real and bogus threats. Therefore, all suicidal threats must be taken seriously. The treat-maker should be immediately connected to a mental health professional. If you do not know how to get in touch with one, use the nearest hospital ER. They will have an on-call mental health professional that will be called in. The professional will conduct a suicide risk assessment and decide upon the most appropriate course of action. It is easiest if the threat-maker agrees to go along voluntarily for treatment. If not, commitment papers can be filled out by anyone with first-hand knowledge of the threat. Phone the nearest community mental health center or mental hygiene commissioner for instructions on how to proceed.

Remember, even if you think the threat is not serious, treat it as if it is. Many a threat-maker has mistakenly killed themselves in a suicidal gesture gone awry. Even when a gesture is intended only to make a dramatic statement for manipulative purposes, it is too easy for something to go wrong and end up with tragic consequences. Also, remember the rule of natural/logical consequences. After an involuntary commitment or two, the frequency of bogus threats will likely drop off dramatically if they serve only to backfire rather than gain manipulative advantage.