Real Help for Parents of Teens in Recovery
Sober Coaching your Teen
The basics of coaching someone in recovery
From
the
book, Sober Coaching
Your Toxic Teen
an interactive guide
There are sober coaches who are for the most part very desirable and effective professionals who can be hired to personally assist addicts in the recovery process. But, let's face it, the average family cannot afford their services. However, parents, family, and friends of addicts can learn and use some of the techniques practiced by professional sober coaches.
Exactly what do we mean
by sober coaching?
A sober coach helps those in recovery learn how to handle all the
stressors and relapse hazards of newfound sobriety. Since addicts'
lives have typically revolved for years around the maladaptive
drug-using lifestyle, they need to learn how to cope with life while
sober. Those who recover successfully will eventually learn the
necessary skills, a sober coach can greatly speed up the learning
process and help them avoid relapse.
Sober Coaching is not enabling
Although
it sounds contradictory, sober coaching (also called recovery coaching)
is not about getting the user clean and sober. We can't do that even
though we long for that kind of power. 'Not using' is something addicts
must ultimately decide they want to do for themselves. What we can do
is help them get on the recovery track without hurting them. We can
support and motivate them to get off drugs. It is also important
to understand what sober coaching is not. It is not about enabling,
blaming the user's friends, or making threats. Sober coaching
is becoming educated about the disease of addiction,
utilizing the resources available, such as support groups (for both us
and them), avoiding enabling, and setting and enforcing
boundaries. The essence of sober coaching is contained in the
Recovery Coache's Pledge. You can find it in the following link Click Here.
| Read the disclaimer please! |
A book by Toby Rice Drews
Chapters
include: Parents are not guilty -- the genetic facts about
alcoholism; Suicide, therapy, and other teen issues; Intervention; If
your child is also mentally ill; When adult children of alcoholics are
also parents of alcoholics; If your spouse AND child are alcoholic; If
you are a recovering alcoholic AND your child is addicted; much, much
more.
I highly reocmmend Toby's work. We don't agree on everything, but her work and reccomendations are excellent. You will also want to visit her website with lots of help and resources you haven't seen before. Getting Them Sober
$9.95
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the big book for Young People in Recovery
You will
want to read the chapter to parents in this book and then pass it on to
your child when ready.
Here is a breif excerpt:
Take them to a 12-step club and ask if there are any people willing to talk to a newcomer; find out if there are any young people’s meetings and bribe your kid into going to a few; call your closest 12-step service office and ask for some good speakers meetings and go as a family. Find professional help and pressure them to accept it or go to treatment if you have the means. Expose them to whatever resources you find in your community and realize, your initial attempts will probably illicit only scorn. Remember, adolescents don’t usually seek help on their own. First, they need to be exposed to recovery to know it’s possible. Second, they need to face the consequences of their using behavior to be motivated. Your job is to make their exposure to recovery possible, and then stop enabling in order to kick start some incentive within.
Take action
Intervention teaches families and friends a language alcoholics can understand. It organizes love and honesty in a way that breaks through denial. It creates a moment of clarity for the alcoholic. Most people suffering from alcoholism and drug addiction will accept help the very day of the intervention. You can find professional interventionists here.
10/21/2005 (Web Page)
Find resources to help parents and other adults concerned that a young person is having a problem with, or is at risk for, a drug or alcohol problem.
Hot Lines
Extra numbers
| National Drug Abuse Hotline | 800-662-4357 |
| CDC AIDS Information | 800-342-2437 |
| National Runaway Hotline | 800-621-4000 |
| National Hotline for Missing & Exploited Children | 800-843-5678 |
| Youth Crisis Hotline | 800-448-4663 |
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