Are Parents the Cause of Addictin?

Real Help for Parents of Teens in Recovery

Are Parents the Cause of Addiction?

Read Chad Helper's perosnal expertise

Are Parents the Cause of Addiction?

Parents are not the cause of addiction. No matter how much influence parents believe they have over a child, the reality is, parents will only influence approximately 25% of what a child will do. Nevertheless, as I work in the field of adolescent substance abuse, I find many parents believing they are the source of their child’s addiction. Maybe this is because; society expects parents to have control over their child. For example, when a child is running wild in the grocery store, don’t we all whisper to ourselves “They need to get control of their child?” So when a teenager is drinking or doing drugs, of course the blame will fall back on the parents.

However, when it comes to addiction, I can tell you from a professional background and a personal background that parents do not create or reinforce addiction. I was brought up in a warm loving family, where my parents helped when needed but also let life teach when needed.
But at the age of fourteen I drank and smoked weed for the first time and the rest is history. I continued to use substances up until the age of 22. I eventually experienced so many natural negative consequences, I decided to change.

During my recovery, I discovered the source of my addiction was a multitude of factors, such has low self-esteem, social anxiety, and a personality trait that craves adventure. Nowhere, did I find my parents as a part of my addiction.Unless a parent is forcing a child to drink or do drugs, it is simply irrational to believe a parent has enough control to be responsible for a child’s addiction. If a parent was responsible for their child’s addiction then a parent would also be able to stop their child’s addiction.

-Chad Hepler works as an addiction counselor at an adolescent treatment center. He has published two books about his recovery, titled, Intervention: Anything But My Own Skin, and Beyond Intervention: A Memoir of Addiction and Recovery.

What is the best treatment for my child?

We do not recommend adolescent centers.

One of the biggest problems I see with parents is that they fail to understand that addiction is a very serious disease, not a parenting issue, and needs to be addressed as such. When seeking help, Mom and Dad often find professionals who want to treat them, and act as if getting good communication between family members is the solution. It's not. That is akin to using marriage counseling to treat the family alcoholic.

If a young person is to recover from any addiction, they need the same treatment as you or I. Unfortunately, that isn't usually found in an adolescent-only center. I do not recommend you send them there. Even a study recently put out by the Rand Corporation found that centers that claim more effectiveness with adolescents could not be verified. Download the Summery in PDF

Adolescent centers make serious mistakes that can be avoided by you. There are understandable reasons for these mistakes that are discussed in scientific journals, but the upshot is: treat adolescents in multigenerational centers and their chances for recovery go up significantly (4-5 times!) It is best to place your son or daughter in a multigenerational drug treatment center and/or after care that uses blended adult and young people groups, or you are wasting your time and money. It has been proven that disturbed and misguided young people that are placed in groups with other misguided young people GET WORSE, seldom better. SAMSA has shown that although most people who go through drug treatment use drugs on on average of 29% less, post treatment, young people that go to adolescent centers use drugs 13% MORE! Need to be convinced? Read this paper: Changing Assumptions in Treating Adolescents for Addiction: A theoretical paper by Shelly Marshall.

    Dear Shelly, How often do teenagers that have gone through treatment go back to drugs? {You wrote that they increase their use, not decrease following treatment!!! (sentence paraphrased)} Shelly, this has been our experience as well with my agency, Treatment Resources for Youth works with very violent, court-adjudicated DJJ youth. Our funding agency still believes in group work (for $$ reasons) and my Cl. Director is a very suburban, Ivory Tower type but he is definitely coming to the same conclusions. Could you lead me in the direction of the SAMSHA research you mention. SAMSHA is always very revered by our founders.

    I attended the Integral Institute in Clearwater last Jan. and heard you speak on this topic and was in total agreement.

    You don't have to use this ? in your Q and A Internet Section unless you want. I am merely seeking a reference to back up my beliefs when I write this year's grant. Thanks for all your help. K. M.

    Treatment Resources for Youth
    Baltimore, MD 21218

The book Young, Sober, & Free is a recovery manual for your adolescent, but includes a chapter to parents that can make a huge difference in how you look at their problem with drugs. This book also contains experiences and examples written by parents like you. To read an excerpt, go to Amazon.com. Although you can order from our Direct Sales store at Day By Day, you will find lower prices on Amazon.

Is it true that kids can't identify in AA because of the age barrier?

Just as alcoholism does not discriminate with age, neither does recovery.

It has recently been reported that youths do better in recovery groups that include peers, according to research presented at the recent Research Society on Alcoholism meeting in San Francisco.

In a study involving 74 male and female adolescents in 12-step programs, researchers John F. Kelly, Ph.D., of the VA Palo Alto Healthcare System and Mark Myers, Ph.D., and Sandra A. Brown, Ph.D., from the University of California at San Diego found that youths attending meetings with one or more people in their age group went to more meetings and were more likely to view the program as important to their recovery.<

"Adult composition and content of groups may be a barrier to more frequent youth attendance," the researchers concluded "Thus, sharing of experiences by older members may not be perceived by youth as helpful or relevant in dealing with their own life-stage recovery issues."

The problem with this type of finding is that people misinterpret what this means. People erroneously conclude that teens need all-peer or same age cohorts in order to recover. When you put teens into adolescent only treatment or recovery groups, they tend to get worse, not better. The BEST treatment and recovery options for young people is MULTIGENERATIONAL. Groups and treatment centers that draw on the strengths, experience, and role modeling of adults, the nurturing and wisdom of elders, and the identification and energy of other young people give everyone the best opportunity for balanced recovery.

If a young person doesn't want recovery, the first thing they mention is the generation gap. If they do want recovery, they make friends fast of all ages in the 12 Step rooms. In addition, today, especially in large cities, there are many hundreds of young people in 12 Step recovery.

Infobar

You don't need to buy the book because Dr. Marshall and Shelly have given you a very good start with answers on this web site. However, if your teen is in trouble, you will probably need professional help. The book is a complete interactive guide and will help prevent you from making the mistakes that most parents make. It will expose the myths, stop the blame, and give you the most up to date information possible.

In addition, buying the book helps keep this web site available for the next parent down the line.

When ready to buy the book you have several options:

Amazon.com
GOOD for retail copies.

Or go through our Amazon Kiosk with a selection of other great recovery books, too.

Direct Sales:
BETTER for multiple order discounts and institutional discounts up to 45%.

Phone orders
BEST for opening an acount, PO or wholesale orders.

1-888 447 1683

Digital copy now available!

Save $10. Instead of $24.95, you pay only $14.95! This version of the work book. is in pdf format and contains an additional. 23 reproducible handouts and worksheets. ISBN 978-0-9674915-7-8 (for hardcover) The digital version is $10 less than the hard copy and makes it easy for you to print off the worksheets in the back for personal or group use. click her to buy from our Direct Sales store online.

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Disclaimer

This web site is intended for educational purposes only. Its use does not imply any professional relationship with the authors. Seeking professional help when dealing with an addictions problem is always recommended.

Do not rely on this or any other web site to diagnose or exclude the diagnosis of chemical dependency for your child. SEEK MEDICAL ADVICE. The authors only present guidelines on this site and in no way want you to rely solely on this information.

There is no one answer or right approach to addictions recovery. Drug or alcohol addiction is a complex disease that can be resistant to treatment.The authors are offering some ideas which may or may not be appropriate for the reader. The ultimate choice of which treatment intervention to use should be decided in conjunction with an addictions recovery professional with whom the reader has a professional relationship. The authors assume no liability for any treatment decisions or outcomes by anyone.

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